Hana the Banana Autopsy

In our autopsy lab, we were given the body of Hana the Banana. Known for her nutritious benefits, it was surprising that anyone in the Anatomy and/or Physiology community would cause such harm to Hana. It was up to us pathologists to determine the cause of Hana's death and any reasonable motives that could be involved.

Our first view of Hana was the anterior (front) or ventral of her body. Amongst initial review, we had noticed multiple slits, lacerations, and puncture wounds throughout the body. The most notable of these injuries were a group of puncture wounds (similar to that of stab wounds) about four centimeters inferior of the mouth. We also noticed two round puncture wounds of the anterior part of the body. One puncture wound that created a see through hole of the body inferior of the "stab wounds", and one puncture superior of the "stab wounds". There were also multiple lacerations, the most notable one approximately being 0.2 centimeters lateral of the left eye.

We then transitioned to the posterior (back) or dorsal view of the subject. Despite having the see through puncture wound, most of the other notable trauma on the body were lacerations from the anterior. The only not being a continuation was biggest laceration of the posterior, which was approximately 5.5 centimeters superior of the puncture wound.

It was then time to start the internal examination of the body's internal contents. After performing the procedure, we were soon exposed to two sagittal views of Hana's internal contents. In the first view, we examined two lacerations, both of which were right lateral of the midline. We also noticed two bruises inside the contents; one of them being superior of the laceration while the other bruise was left medial of another laceration. The second sagittal view revealed a single laceration lateral left of the midline along with a puncture wound right medial of the midline. There was a bruise superior of the puncture wound, along with an unknown solid object superior to that same bruise.

Although there can be many theories of how Hana the Banana became deceased, I developed a hypothesis of how she exactly died by what and from whom. Hana the Banana was murdered by a firearm and a sharp object all due to Mr. Orre. Since Hana has been seen before squatting and lifting heavier weights than Orre, he could not dare to lose his reputation as the ultimate weightlifter in the Anatomy and/or Physiology community. The only way to establish himself as the dominant figure was outing Hana once and for all. After meeting her all by herself at her cabana, Mr. Orre began advancing to Hana with a knife. However, Hana had resisted such attack, rebelling against Mr. Orre and his sharp object. At first, Mr. Orre lost his sharp object from Hana in which he punched Hana twice, leaving her two internal bruises that would weaken her. He then retrieved his knife while Hana was stunned, and began stabbing and slashing anywhere that would harm her life and lifting technique. After multiple lacerations, Mr. Orre realized that based off her injuries, it would take Hana too long to bleed out and die. He then retrieved his firearm, and shot Hana twice from point blank range. One shot pierced the body entirely, while the other shot's bullet was stuck internally, explaining the unknown, solid object. Both shots quickened Hana's death, allowing him to go to Crossfit right on time. Mr. Orre would then hand deceased Hana to the Anatomy class, in hopes that they would dissect it and destroy any remaining evidence that could have harmed him. In the end however, we were able to expose Mr. Orre for being the terrible monster he is in killing Hana the Banana, a long beloved member of the community whose legacy shall live on.